Deserving
by DogsruleW
Summary: Shuichi is upset over something a reporter says during an interview, and has a serious talk with Yuki. ShuichiYuki, shonenai, oneshot, fluff!


Yes, it's true, a new story from me! I haven't died! Well I hope you enjoy my new fic, and please review! I haven't updated anything in a really long time so I'd really appreciate some feedback. Thanks to everyone reading!

Deserving 

For nearly a week now, Shuichi had not been acting himself. It wasn't uncommon for him to go through small, seemingly random bouts of depression. Usually it was over something stupid, such as being told to shut up by Yuki or not being able to think of new lyrics. The boy had the strange ability to bounce back and was usually fine after a day at most. However, this was lasting longer than usual and, although he would never admit it, Yuki was starting to get worried.

That evening, after sitting down and eating dinner in silence, the couple sat down on the living room couch to watch Shuichi's interview on TV. The interview began with simple questions about record sales, new songs, and the band itself. Yuki wasn't very interested in this, and his mind began to wander. He was soon brought back to focus when he heard the questions in the interview take a more…_personal_ edge to them.

"So Shuichi, rumors are spreading that you broke up with Yuki Eiri. Is this true, or are you two still together?" Upon hearing the question, Shuichi gave a nervous smile while blushing darkly.

"Umm, I'd appreciate it if you would keep your questions off of this topic…" Shuichi replied hesitantly. The reporter just grinned wider and leaned in closer to Shuichi.

"But Shuichi, this is what everyone is dying to know!" The reporter held the microphone in front of Shuichi's face. Shuichi looked at it, blinked a few times, then suddenly grinned.

"Yep! I'm with Yuki and I love him!" Shuichi yelled in the microphone and started giggling. The reporter sweat-dropped a little at Shuichi's outburst but continued pressing.

"You know," the reporter began, "a lot of your most dedicated fans are worried about your relationship with him. They think that he doesn't really love you. How do you feel about this?" For a split second Shuichi looked absolutely distraught, but soon replaced it with his trademark grin.

"Heh, I'm sure they only say that 'cause they want me for themselves!" Shuichi laughed and the reporter joined in with him.

"Yuki…" Shuichi said softly, interrupting his own laughter on the television. Yuki turned towards him slowly and glared at him. He was more than a little angry about the interview. Actually, he was madder at that idiot reporter than at Shuichi, but he wasn't going to let him know that. Regarding Shuichi angrily once more, he finally answered gruffly.

"What is it, you brat?" Shuichi's face fell at this. He leaned his head down slightly, causing his soft locks of hair to cascade off his shoulders and fall in front of him, hiding his face. Although Yuki couldn't see his face, he knew from experience that the hair was most likely covering tears running down Shuichi's cheeks. Heavily, he heaved a sigh.

"Y..Yuki…do you love me?" Shuichi spoke so softly that Yuki could barely hear him. Yuki leaned forward so he could make out what Shuichi said, and when he did a frown crossed his face. What was bothering Shuichi now? In an attempt to cover his worry and save his pride, Yuki feigned annoyance when he answered.

"What? Are your crazy fans giving you stupid ideas, brat?" Shuichi's head fell even lower, and he sighed again. Slowly he raised his head, pushed back his hair with one hand and looked Yuki in the eye.

"Can I…just talk to you for a minute? A serious talk…I won't act silly and you won't be mean, ok? Please?" Shuichi looked up at him with wide, pleading eyes that Yuki knew at once he wouldn't be able to resist. Besides, he could also see from his eyes that Shuichi really was serious.

"Okay, Shuichi." Yuki said softly, "What do you want to talk about?" Shuichi responded with a strong voice, a look of determination in his eyes and without the slightest hesitation.

"Answer my question. Do you love me?" Yuki jerked back slightly, caught off guard. He was prepared for this- how was he supposed to answer? He knew already that he couldn't just say no. Shuichi would be sobbing, and whenever he cried it wrenched at Yuki's heart. He couldn't just say yes right away either. He still hadn't come to terms with what he felt for the singer. And if he couldn't even say it to himself, how could he possibly tell Shuichi that he loved him?

"I…" Yuki trailed off. Looking up at his lover, he saw tears swimming his eyes, but for once he was struggling not to let them fall.

"Answer me, Yuki." Shuichi spoke calmly but firmly. Although his tears were seconds from falling, he didn't allow his voice to waver. He waited, looking straight into Yuki's eyes, but he didn't get an answer. Turning away, Shuichi lifted both hands to his face and allowed his tears to fall, sobs racking his body, shoulders shaking. Looking at him, Yuki felt a pang of guilt and tears prickling in the corners of his own eyes, but he quickly blinked them away. He knew then that he had to say it.

"I love you, Shuichi," Yuki murmured, and deep down he knew that it was true, and finally accepted it. Shuichi lowered his hands and turned back towards Yuki. Yuki leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips, but Shuichi pulled away.

"If you love me, Yuki, then why can't you act like it! All I ever hear out of you is 'idiot' and 'brat'. Sometimes it seems like the only emotions you're capable of are anger and lust. If you love me, then why won't you accept my affections? Why won't you allow yourself to act like you love me?" Shuichi's harsh words struck Yuki like a slap in the face. Yuki knew that now he could only tell the truth.

"I guess it's just because…I feel like I don't deserve you." Shuichi blinked at this.

"What?" Shuichi asked, taken aback with surprise.

"I don't deserve you," Yuki said again, "You're so sweet and happy, all the time. You're always kind to everyone around you. And your spirit is so strong… I know you think I'm tough and everything, by how I act and never cry, but the truth is…you're much stronger than me, Shuichi. Stronger in spirit and stronger in heart. I couldn't even work up the courage until today to say that..that I love you. I'm just a jerk, a bastard who shouldn't be with anyone. I hate to ruin everything you have going for you, Shuichi…"

Shuichi blinked in surprise- he'd never heard Yuki say so much at once. He moved forward and leaned his head on Yuki's chest, smiling slightly, before speaking himself.

"Actually, I feel that way a lot too," Shuichi said softly. He felt Yuki's finger moving softly through his hair and he sighed contently. "Everything I do, every little thing, I would look back at and kick myself for, because I would know that it's not good enough." Yuki frowned.

"See, it's all my fault," Yuki muttered, "for setting my standards too high and constantly teasing you…" But Shuichi shook his head violently.

"No, it really had nothing to do with you. Even if you had been nice I would still have never thought I was good enough. It was really my own standards that I can never live up too…and I always felt undeserving of you. You're so handsome, Yuki, and I know you could have any girl that you wanted in the world. And out of everyone, you picked me…it just didn't make sense to me. You seemed so perfect and you always put up with me…I just felt like a burden."

"But you were wrong, Shuichi. It was the other way around…" But once again Shuichi shook his head.

"I think now that it's neither. It may sound strange, but…I think that the fact that we don't think we deserve each other is what proves that we _do_ deserve each other." Shuichi said, scratching his chin. Yuki stared at him for a minute incredulously.

"Umm…that makes no sense." Shuichi huffed indignantly.

"Yes it does! Geez, and you're supposed to be the smart one…" Shuichi muttered, and Yuki whapped him on the head, getting a yell out of his lover.

"Just explain what you mean!" Yuki yelled.

"Okay! See, it's like…if we're worrying about if we're good enough for each other, it means that we really do care about each other's well being, and we would even sacrifice our own happiness for it. And if we're willing to do that, then we do deserve each other. Neither of us is perfect, and by being together we can make up for each others' imperfections."

"…That has to be one of the smartest things you've ever said. Of course, there's not exactly a lot to choose from…" Instead of getting upset or mad, Shuichi just laughed and cuddled more into Yuki's chest. They lay like that together for what seemed like hours, simply enjoying each other's company. Yuki ran his fingers through Shuichi's fluffy hair and Shuichi inhaled Yuki's soothing scent, sighing contently. After a while, Yuki said that he was tired and wanted to go to bed.

"Was that what was bothering you all week?" Yuki asked after getting up. Shuichi just nodded and smiled a little, before saying goodnight and walking towards the couch.

Taking a few steps towards his bedroom, Yuki turned around again and watched Shuichi getting onto the couch. He could feel a sense of loneliness in the way he moved and realized he even felt a little lonely himself.

"Hey, Shuichi," Yuki called out. Shuichi sat turned back with a look of surprise.

"Yeah?" Yuki flashed him a genuine smile that made Shuichi grin back.

"Why don't you sleep in my room from now on?" Shuichi's eyes widened and he looked ecstatic.

"R-really?" Yuki just nodded, and then walked off towards his…_their_ room, Shuichi running happily after him.


End file.
